Two skanks battled on Pamela's lawn one Wednesday afternoon in September. Vitriol gave way to hair pulling, which gave way to a spontaneously-choreographed, slow-motion collapse to the pavement. Bottle blonde and Koolaid® blue hair seeped through their knuckles and they lay face-to-face on the warm asphalt, neither loosening her grip. Pamela looked at her watch. Thirteen long minutes passed, then she turned the hose on them.